(Wrap It Up, Safe Sex!- Chapter 5)

So, after I cleaned up the couch where I was sitting, I went straight to the bedroom to find something cute to wear to dance. It was something simple as always, got to keep it lose so I can get my ass shaking on.

I heard my phone ding letting me know that I have a text. Before I checked, I looked up at the ceiling hoping it was a normal text from a human being. I better not see that ostrich picture pop up.

“Yes” I said out loud when I see it’s from my best friend letting me know that she was on her way to grab me.

She lives about 20 minutes from me, that means I better get dressed pretty quick. I hopped in the shower and did a quick two soap up and rinse and I was off to the races to get ready for the night.

“Hey girl, I’m outside in the pull up. So, hurry up. Girl I think I seen an ostrich with a damn head band by the park across the street. This shit comes from watching all those late-night movies with you about everything”, she said into the phone.

“Here I come, I’ll be right down.” I responded.

I grabbed my keys off the counter and headed to the elevator that is now fix. I was going through my purse making sure that I had everything as the elevator headed up to my floor. As the door opened with a ding I looked up and then back down and back up again to push the first floor button.

“This can’t be happening, it just can’t be. Now why would I think it’s not happening. I’m not entertaining this.” I said looking straight forward.

I can’t believe that I’m sharing the elevator with a goose, I want to say it might just be mother goose as I took a second look at it out the side of my eye. The 2nd floor ding and the goose started on its way not before dropping something gold by my foot. Soon as the door closed, I reached down and grabbed it.

“Oh, damn I can’t do this anymore.” I said out loud.

I press the hold button on the elevator to stop it from moving as I read the gold wrapper “Magnum XL condom.” Maybe it’s a sign that I might get laid tonight, I don’t usually do one-night stands, but you know what they say geese are wise. I just made that up hoping that this sign was real.

I dozed off as we drove across town to dance our shoes off.

“We’re here are you ready to party hardy?” my friend said loud as we pulled into a building that was lit up like a darn circus.

“Where are we little lady. Only you would find a place like this to kick it at”, I said to her as I reached down between my legs to grab my shoes and put them on.

We both hopped out the car and headed to the door where there was at the door checking identification cards. Low key both of them looked like sexy hulks. They were super pretty. We walk in and it was the total opposite of what the building looked like it did from the outside.

We both noticed at the same time a nice cozy couch in the corner on the opposite side of the room. It was still early and the dance floor hadn’t filled up quite yet, but that didn’t last long. I can say about 30 minutes went by before the place was shoulder to shoulder.

“Come on everybody time to clear the dance floor if you’re not shaking what your mana gave you!” The DJ said over the microphone. The music was on point, my hips moved the whole night.

My friend and I did what we came to do dance our shoes off, I dropped it low, brought it back a few times and I most definitely shake what my mama gave me over and over again. We met back at the couch smiling and sweating something serious. As we plopped down a couple guys plopped down right next to us. I seen a fine man couple times or two in my life, but blessings these boys were a step above. I guess, I will be using that golden egg from the elevator after all. We sat and talked for about an hour before I notice him looking at his phone over and over again. I brushed it off because he was none of mine.

“It’s nice meeting you and your conversation was amazing. I have to go get my girl from across the room now.” He whispered in my ear as he stood up and walked away.

“Last call for alcohol” the DJ said loudly to let everyone know the bar was closing. “Hey, girl ready to get out of here, I need a shower.” My friend as I seen the guy, she was talking to was walking away also.

We both got up and headed to the door to leave I ended up driving home because my fast ass friend had one to many, what has always been funny to me though is how she sober so fast.

I pulled up in my garage parking and parked her right next to me. I played slapped her in the face to get up and she wasn’t happy about it at all.

“BITCH!” She said trying to reach for me, but I was already out of the car.

“Do you have a bag in the truck?” I yelled from the back of her car so I can grab it before I passed the trunk.

“Yes, it’s the pink one.” She said as she slowly got out of the car.

We both walked to the elevator. As I heard the elevator make its way down, I mentally prayed that Mother Goose wasn’t in there. If she was, I was going to act like I don’t see her no matter how many times my friend tries to get my attention. All that would’ve came out of my mouth was “Blame it on the alcohol.” The doors opened and no bird thank goodness.

As soon as we walked in the door, she grabbed her bag from me and headed straight to the bathroom to take a shower. 20 minutes and she came out fully dressed.

“Where are you going Ms. Thang?” I asked her from the floor where I was sitting.

She looked at me and gave me a Kool-Aid smile.

“Why are you smiling like that?” I said now starting to stand.

“Well, I guess I’m living my life on the edge tonight!” she said as she turned towards the table to grab my house keys to get back in at the crack of dawn.

“Oh yea, do you by any chance have a rubber I left mine at home.” She said looking me straight in the face letting me know that she was as serious as a heart attack. I went to the back room where I had put my purse to get my golden egg that wasn’t even for me.

“The damn animals looking out for friends now.” As I rolled my eyes and whispered under my breath. I swear I’m going to the zoo before this week is up to get to the bottom of this animal stuff.